It’s that time of the year again. Everyone’s going around shopping and planning for the renaissance fair. You have to appreciate everyone’s spirit at this time of the year. It’s no different than Christmas. They may spend an entire year building the impression of a perfectly educated and flawless gentleman, but then comes along the renaissance fair, and you get to see everyone’s dark side. Well, not exactly the dark side, but not the coolest side either. Something to keep an eye out for in every renaissance fair are the Renaissance shoes that men come up with. Some say that a man who can pull off Renaissance shoes is a keeper. Okay maybe nobody says that, but is it not just the greatest sight?
This is not a gift that everyone has the luxury of being born with. Some men come off as real dorks when they put on Renaissance shoes. Some on the other hand, look surprisingly nice. There is a rich history behind the fairs that we have come to consider as a norm. These fairs are usually designed to represent a made-up village somewhere in England, hundreds of years ago. It’s a real wonder how imaginary creatures like Centaurs got incorporated into the fairs somehow. The modern renaissance fairs are really no longer about what the past used to be like. They are more about what sort of innovative crap people can come up with every year.
Do not be led by the idea that Renaissance shoes alone can give men that vibe you long for every year. Oh no, it’s not just the shoes, it’s the whole costume. Every little part of his appearance is determined by minute decisions that add up to count for more. For example, has he grown a beard? Is he dressed to play some rich fellow from England or a filthy beggar instead? Is he going for boots, or is he going to wear those steel sounding shoes with pulled up pants instead? All these decisions count. Somewhere along the way, men got smart and realized that women have a thing for Jack Sparrow type of looks. Of course, they overlooked the fact that Jack Sparrow wouldn’t do so well with the ladies if he honestly didn’t shower for days and had a breath that was worse than rotten eggs.
All men putting on Renaissance shoes should know that a real manly look is what truly compliments them. So if you are planning to dress up as Merlin, or Goblin, or some other dorky person, please remember to look in the mirror first, and ask yourself if compromising yourself intellectually, and very much physically, is going to help with the ladies? Let us not jump ahead of ourselves and label everything that looks and sounds unusual as “cool”. No! As a matter of fact, let us constantly remind ourselves that some things that may appear “cool” are actually borderline creepy; for instance, dressing up as a Centaur. If the actual 14th century people were to see such exaggerated and weird representations of their time, they would well, be really pissed.
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